This week, I had to practise piano for one song. Only one song. Because it is only one song, I have an obligation to spend all my time on it and do it the best I can. It is different this time because I actually have the full piano score to play and with full instruction of how it should be played, just like a standard piano score you see in piano book. It is probably because of that, I feel obligated to play exactly like the score instead of the way I want or the way most convenient to me. The score wasn't hard. I would only say it is me who is not skillful. The key on the other hand was quite challenging. Somehow playing piano for me is kind like going by "luck" or "external intervention", meaning one day I can be good and the other day I can't get things right no matter what. I believe divine intervention might have something to do with it. I can on certain days get the chords on the left hand right subconsciously when I play something new or something totally random with my right hand, when this is actually beyond my normal music skill..... and then the next day I have completely no clue what chords to use..... The first night I got this score and tried quickly, it seemed ok, just need to practise on the B flat major keys. The next day when I actually sit down to practise, I was stuck. It was one of the bad day. I practised and practised, and to a point I suddenly have old feelings surfaced in my mind. I suddenly realized why I used to hate practise piano and used to dislike learning piano 16 years ago. I started wanting to quit 19 years ago and finally quitted 16 years ago. I realized I hated mindlessly memorizing where the keys for the notes are. I hated memorizing which piano keys to press. I found it very meaningless. It is memorization because when you actually play the song, you don't have time to decide which note is which key and whether you get a sharp, a flat, or neutral e.e. You know, it was THAT bad at that moment. I was actually on the edge of figuring out the keys and the keyboard. I really need to practise piano more often. I was very frustrated, and even wonder we bother have someone to play piano. If we could just feed the score into the computer or a digital piano, it will play the song exactly right without all the hassel @_@;; That was why I found it was no fun at all taking piano lessons. The only difference is, this time I'm playing a song that I actually like and I know the song. So I just endured it and keep on practising. I don't have an option of quitting actually. If it was one of those songs in a typical piano lesson book, I would have long quitted practising. And then, with endurance and hard work, it got better. I went to something else and came back. It seemed like the bad moment was gone. I usually alternate practising for a couple of hours with doing something else for a couple of hours. I found it most effective this way because I don't get any better after drilling on it for longer than a couple of hours. It seems like the time I rest doing something else could help it to sink in. That is also another reason I need to spread out practising into different days. I found resting and sleeping actually helps to memorize the notes and where my fingers should go. Things went fine and next 2 days. It seemed like my bad moment were gone and things did sank in quite a bit. It was interesting that the bad moment that suddenly hit me the other day triggered me to understand myself and my past a little better.

I improved the guestbook code a bit today. I added the page navigation and how the guestbook entries are broken down into pages. This is something I had always wanted to do and got enough php when I installed the guestbook. Able to get the guestbook work and customize certain things were already enough php work last time, so I waited for another day to add the navigation. It turned out to be much easier than I thought. I have no clue what the codes do, but as long as they work....that's all I care.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - January 31, 2004 - 12:05 a.m. [ Comments ]

Konnichiwa! ^^ Now I feel hungry, after seeing my cousin Purple's cakes photos. She makes pretty and yummy cakes. Speaking of yummy....I don't actually know, since I've never eaten her cake. But I trust from her cooking skill that they are yummy. ^^ Cake is another thing you can't e-mail XD.

With a tighter "anti-webcrawler spam mail" measure in place for a few weeks, my e-mail box finally eases off on junk mail. With multiple accounts on the domain, I used to get like 100 spams per day. The past couple of days has been down to 20 to 30 per day *crosses finger*. I hope it will continue to go down. I know there are a few more places on the web pages that I need to remove my e-mail address from. At least I know the tighter measure is working.

I'm on Secret of the Stars, an old SNES game. I'm actually at the very end, going to beat the final boss. However, I must do some mindless level up first, which is very boring. I need to at least go up 2 more levels first, but at this point it requires about 40000 experience points to go up each level and the monsters are only about 600 exp each round. It's going to take a long while..... It is better to get stronger first so my characters won't get wiped out by 2 attacks of the boss @_@;; I'll do that slowly. And after this game finishes, I'll have to get to real work. I have some pharmacy things to study. I need to go out to check for new GBA games too, but it has been so cold. Nobody in a right mind wants to go out unless it is for work. And we are having a big big snow storm too >.> Somebody better shavel the snow of my street tomorrow morning otherwise I can't get to work. I have always been wondering about the girl in the Weather Pixie. How can you stand outdoor in this temperature with so little clothes?? @_@;; They really should make one that wears big fur coat when the temperature falls below a certain level for certain places. And the other day I saw that the Weather Pixel girl was using her umbella. What was she doing with her umbella when it was snowing at -14 celcius?? >.> And they better not show the poor doggie in this weather.
[edit: Oh crap, the poor doggie shows up. He has no cloths on. He is going to get frost bite on his toes and everywhere else. This is animal cruelity. XD]

I'm going to bed...and wake up early.....and see how long it is going to take me to get to work XD.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - January 26, 2004 - 11:48 p.m. [ Comments ]

Since I'm sick of those stupid people....Rushita presents you a list of things NOT to do when you go look for a job:

10. Do not bring all your friends and their Mothers/sisters/kids when you go look for a job.

9. Do not ask staff to teach you how to fill out the application. If you don't understand the application, take it home and work on it and then bring it back. There is plenty of time and no rush to show your lack of basic English comprehension skill.

8. Do not dress like you just crawl out of your bed or crawl out from a trash can.

7. Do not ask to borrow a pen to fill out the application. You should bring a pen if you really care for a job.

6. Do not borrow a pen and then never returns it. I will mark on your application: "Do not hire. This guy steals pens."

5. Do not rudely interrupts staff's work and demand to get an application or drop off your resume. It will be filed under "G" if you don't even know basic courtesy.

4. Do not challenge our foreign language skills when you come look for a job. Chances are we don't know that many languages besides English. So if I can't understand what you say and I can't make you understand what I say, please polish your English skill first.

3. Do not give us an 8-pages resume. Nobody reads beyond the 3rd page and we don't want to know what you did in kindergarten.

2. Do not call us everyday and ask if we are hiring. If you annoy us enough, we will make sure we say: "We are NOT hiring!".

1. Do not write you are available to work at the hours that we are not open. It isn't that hard to find out our business hours first!

So...this is the wisdom of the day.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - January 23, 2004 - 12:50 a.m. [ Comments ]

This is once again stole from Diana, who stole from Himezaki. I like doing surveys. It is especially good when you are tired after a long day at work and you don't want to think and you don't know what to blog.... And believe it or not, when you copy and paste the survey and do it, it actually helps you to remember the answers of the person whome you stole it from. One way of knowing another person better XD

|Birth Name| As if I'm going to tell you.....>.>
|Age you act| Depends on the situration. It can go from 15 to 50.
|Height| 5'5" and darn, I wan't Diana's height!
|Where do you live?| Toronto, Ontario, Canada
|Birthplace| Hong Kong
|Hidden Talents| Didn't I answer that last time? I can count in 5's, talk on the phone, and eat my sandwich at the same time! Oh wait... that's not "hidden". That's just my normal day at work. XD

HAVE YOU EVER
|pictured ur crush naked?| Nope
|actually seen ur crush naked| Nope
|cried when someone died| Yes
|drank alcohol| Yes, but it is so bitter >.>
|fallen for ur best friend| No. My bestfriends do not include guys and I'm heterosexual!
|been rejected| For what?
|rejected some one| All the time.
|been cheated on| As far as I believe, no.
|done something u regret| No regrets
|Been In Jail| No, for heaven's sake!
|Ran away from home| Nope. Home sweat home. That's the ringtone of my cellphone too.
|Hit a Boy| Not really
|Hit A Girl| Not really
|Broken A Bone| Nope
|Cheated On A Test| Probably on one occassion when I was small. O.o;;
|Let a friend cry on your shoulder| Yup, but that rarely happens because for some odd reason people don't find Rushita for emotion things. They find Rushita only for solutions.
|Fell asleep in the shower/bath| Just dozing off a couple of times.
|Walked in on someone changing or showering| Yeah, nothing special for female members of the family or girl friends as long as you aren't paying attention to their naked body.
|Gone to Church| Of course. I go to church all the time. You should too.
|Never slept during a night| Who can avoid doing that and get all the university chemistry lab reports (of different chemistry courses) done?
|Seen someone die| No.
|Thought you were in love| Yes.
|Screamed at someone for no reason| No. Even for seemingly no reason, there is still a reason. I don't do things for no reason.
|Stayed up till 4 am on the phone| Nope. I don't like talking on the phone.

|what do u notice first?| As in? I'd say.... the cleaniness of a person.
|last person u slow danced with| Never done that
|worst thing to say| "Speak in English". For heaven's sake I'm speaking in English, but you are not!!

WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT
|Love at First Sight| Nothing
|Abortion| Misoprostol. I can relate almost anything to medicine XD.
|Pot| Tea
|Eating disorders| Bulimia....wait, that doesn't count. That's just the name of the disorder. Told you I can relate everything to work. How about "vomiting"? e.e;;
|Suicide| Get out of my way.
|Drinking| No driving.
|Life| is beautiful.
|Memory Of The year| It's only the beginning of the year, so I'm not going to say anything yet.
|Favorite movie| Laputa..... yeah, still that one.
|Favorite Book| I don't like reading books XD Fushigi Yuugi manga. Does it count?
|Favorite type of music| Anime, Musical, and the type that people may call "new age", which is just some easy listening music with nature sounds or Kitaro's music O.o;; Anything quiet and relaxing.
|Favorite type of cars| A 4-door family car that doesn't break down and come with a driver!!
|Favorite Saying| "To get along with other people, you have to first get along with yourself and know yourself." Who said that? I did.
|Favorite Fast Food| Taco Bell's beef burrito.
|Favorite Ice Cream| Vanilla with chocolate chips.
|Favorite Alcoholic Drink| None. They all taste like Listerine XD
|Favorite Television Show(s)| Trading Spaces.
|Your Ideal BF/GF| That person doesn't exist. I have already given up. ==> Somebody who has the same faith and high morality, honest, intelligent, able to do things that I'm not able to do myself (that part has been a problem thus gaining a lot of importance...e.e), quiet and humble, gentle and thoughtful, makes more money than I do and allow me not have to work after we married, able to speak multiple languages, including but not limited to Cantonese, Mandarin, English (French and Japanese are assets), and is a 100% Chinese with 100% Chinese cultural background! @_@;; Told you that guy doesn't exist.... It is much easier for me to work hard and have myself to take care of everything.

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU
|Took A Shower| This morning.
|Cried| Sunday. I was moved by something I don't remember and my eyes run a little during prayer in church.
|Watched a Disney movie| Last month.
|Received a hug| New Year?

THE FUTURE
|Where You Want To Live| Practically, Toronto. For dreaming.... somewhere there is beach and doesn't snow!! I'd like to suggest Diana to come over for a visit ever winter to have all the snow she wants @_@;;
|How Many Kids You Want| Not at the moment. Ideal case is 1 or 2, but by the look of how things go, I most likely won't have any because I most likely won't get married before I past fertility age!
|What Kind Of Job You Want| I'd like to not have to work and life still goes on the same way as now. That's another thing that is not possible because of the impossible guy mentioned above. In that case, I'd rather stick with my current job and enjoy my current lifestyle as much as I can.

YOU
|i want| a nice long vacation
|i wish| everyone truely believes in Jesus Christ. Speaking of winning 1 million dollars....since I don't gamble, that will not happen. But I just calculate the other day, 1 million is not enough. 1 million divided by 20 years is only $50000 a year. It really is not enough to make me quit my job. Besides, I have more than 20 years to live. So....I figured the other day that I actually need 2 million. With a little bit of interest, minus quite a bit of tax and a bit of inflation, 2 million will be a good amount for me to play without work.
|i love| soup!
|i miss| 3 months of summer holiday
|i fear| latex baloon, bee/wasps/unknown flying bugs.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - January 20, 2004 - 11:53 p.m. [ Comments ]

Stealing Diana's survey for a change XD. Usually she is the one who stole surveys from me.

:x: name = For your concern, I'm Rushita.
:x: piercings = One on each earlobe.
:x: tattoos = No!

:x: height= 5'5"
:x: shoe size = 8
:x: hair color = Very very dark brown. Whoever says it is black shall buy a "black" hairdye and dye his/her hair black to see the difference.
:x: eye color = dark brown!
:x: siblings = An older brother

LAST...
:x: movie you rented = Never rent a movie
:x: movie you bought = Cat's Return
:x: song you listened to = whatever cheesy song they played in my store...but never pay attention to.
:x: song that was stuck in your head = none at the moment.
:x: cd you bought = God's Karaoke (the ultimate collection of Ah! My Goddess karaoke music 4-CD package).
:x: cd you listened to = Princess Mononoke. That should be the one running on my stereo at bedtime last night....e.e
:x: person you've called = The pharmacist of Shoppers Drug Mart in Markville Mall. I called at work for a prescription transfer.
:x: person that's called you = Some person on the phone who asked for pharmacist for a question.
:x: tv show you've watched = "Everyone Wins", a Chinese game show on Chinese TV.
:x: person you were thinking of = Xq. I'm talking to him at the moment.

DO...
:x: you have a crush on someone = Refuse to answer this question. @_@;;
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = Some city close to the beach but wouldn't snow!!!
:x: you think about suicide = I love myself very much.
:x: you believe in online dating = Yes, but it is hard.
:x: others find you attractive = Been told many times..... especially those freaking guys in Seattle. @_@;;
:x: you want more piercings = No, thank you.
:x: you like cleaning = Depends
:x: you like roller coasters = No. I'm not spending money to torture myself.
:x: you write in cursive or print = Print with modified cursive.

FOR OR AGAINST...
:x: long distance relationships = Not "for" nor "against". It just sucks.
:x: using someone = Against, unless both the user and the person who is being used are happy about it.
:x: suicide = Against! You think your life suck? Your life after you die is even worst!
:x: killing people = Against.
:x: teenage smoking = Against smoking anything all together! Don't see a point of contaminating your lungs.
:x: driving drunk = I agree with Diana.... stupid questions. Of course against!
:x: gay/lesbian relationships = Against. Homosexuality is a sin, whether you like it or not.
:x: soap operas = No comment. Not my cup of tea.

HAVE YOU...
:x: ever cried over a girl = huh? I only cried when a girl friend of mine is sad.
:x: ever cried over a boy = As in losing a boy? Nope. Boy unfortunately made me sad though.
:x: ever lied to someone = Yes. It is a sin everyone has. But I don't do that anymore..... at least not conciously O.o;;
:x: ever been in a fist fight = No. Elegant lady either don't fight, or use tool!
:x: ever been arrested = For Heaven's sake, No!

WHAT...
:x: shampoo do you use = Salon Selectives
:x: shoes do you wear = Naturalizer is a must for work shoes.... the only kind that allows me to be on my feet 13 hours a day. Others shoes just whatever I happen to buy.
:x: are you scared of = Latex baloon, bees/swasps, worms, spiders, thunder...and any dangerous situations.

NUMBER...
:x: of times I have been in love = Once
:x: of times I have had my heart broken = None
:x: of hearts I have broken = None. Those I don't know doesn't count.
:x: of girls I have kissed = A couple of friendly kisses.... can't remember.
:x: of boys I have kissed = One
:x: of girls I've slept with = A couple. Like sharing bed in hotels with friends, and at home with my cousin. Don't think the wrong way >.>
:x: of boys I've slept with = One. And I do mean sleeping ONLY.
:x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends = I don't trust people with my life. I only trust God on that. @_@;;
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper = None.
:x: of scars on my body = One bicycle accident scar on my ankle, one smallpox vaccination on my leg, one BCG vaccination on my shoulder, one surgical scar...... and tons of acne marks on my back XD
:x: of things in my past that I regret = I don't really regret about the past.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
:x: pretty = Not really. I think I'm ok.
:x: funny = Yes, I can be sometimes. ^^.
:x: hot = No.
:x: friendly = Usually.
:x: amusing = Maybe
:x: ugly = No. I have a healthy self-image
:x: lovable = Yes
:x: caring = In the right situation....
:x: sweet = Sometimes ^^
:x: dorky = I could be sometimes....

FAVOURITE
:x: 6 letter word = Kawaii! Although this is not English..... who cares?
:x: actor/actress = None
:x: Candy = Milk chocolate or chocolate truffles
:x: Cartoon = Swan Princess. And anime, I still like Utena...
:x: Cereal = Rarely eat cereal. If I do, honey nuts cheerio.
:x: Chewing gum = Don't chew gum.
:x: Color(s) = Silver, white, pink, purple, blue and all kinds of pastel colours.
:x: Day of week = Sunday.
:x: Least fave day = Senior's Day at the store!! @_@;;
:x: Jello flavor = Lime, watermelon, grape.
:x: Jewelry = My diamond rings.
:x: Special skills/talents = I can tell a person by their face and/or brief observation.
:x: Trampolines or swimming pools = Swimming pools! XD

PERSON WHO LAST...
:x: Slept in your bed = Me! Nobody sleep in my bed!
:x: Saw you cry = I don't remember
:x: Made you cry = I don't tend to remember unhappy things
:x: You went to the movies with = Xq. That was years ago. But I haven't been to movies for years!
:x: Yelled at you = Gotta be one of those stupid unreasonable demanding customers, who wants everything their way and NOW!. My parents won't even yell at me anymore.
:x: Sent you an email = One of those spam people.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - January 17, 2004 - 10:02 p.m. [ Comments ]

To sum up the week: It is freeeeezing XD. We finally need to pay for our debt since we had warm winter last year and the year before and the first part of this winter. To find out what weather we have over here in Toronto, all you need to do is to watch my Weather Pixie on the right size of the blog. Temperature is in celcius, of course. We have been having minus twenty something (wind chill not included) celcius this week, which comes to about -5 to -13 Fahrenheit, for those of you in US who are the only people still using Fahrenheit @_@;;. I seriously concern that older cars is going to have trouble starting up the engine. My car went "di...di..di..di.di" for a little while before it went "GKOOOOK" to start up the engine e.e. And this is when you need the "-40 celcius antifreeze windshield washer" because the "-20" one actually will freeze on your windsheild @_@;;

And that... I had a flood in my room. There is ice on the INSIDE of my bedroom window. Inside means the side inside the room. I had my vapourizer running a lot and it condensated on my window and it turned into ice. Then when my room became warmer, it melted and was dripping on my counter. I woke up hearing dripping noise (on top of the noise of the vapourizer) and I knew what was going on e.e;; I had to use the hair dryer to melt the ice, use something to scrape the ice off and use cloth to soak and clean up the counter. Then my dad covered the whole window with the plastic shrink wrap. I haven't done that for a few years. It was actually a very good way to provide insulation to the window, 'cause seriously, wind leaks thought the window and my room is always cold. Now that I have the shrink wrap on the window, my room is actually much warmer. I used to be able to tell the weather outside without even opening the blinds to see. I can actually tell by the the feel of the air inside my room....whether it is raining, or nice and warm and sunny, or freaking cold. I can somehow feel the humidity and temperature through the air that leaks throught the closed window. @_@;;

I was supposed to go out to check for new games for my GBA and do other shoppings, but it has been soooooo cold x.x. Nobody with the right mind would go out in this kind of weather. I just want to stay home.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - January 16, 2004 - 4:59 p.m. [ Comments ]

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

- You've just read Rushita's heart - January 13, 2004 - 11:32 p.m. [ Comments ]

Konnichi wa! It is so coooooooldddd @_@;; It is the time of the year even the basement is freezing, never mind outside. That's why I want a portable game console so I can stay upstairs to play. However, that didn't quite work out because I still have to stay in front of the computer to follow the walkthrough and FAQ. I hate getting lost e.e;; I've just beat the Sword of Mana. It seems to be shorter than I expected. Anyhow, here is the game review:

Overall, it is a good game. I love using magic and spells. The storyline is not very convincing to me....like there isn't much of a plot and the concept of the goal isn't so strong for me to follow. It is like I have to go there because I'm supposed to go there to continue the game. O.o;; I don't quite comprehense the ending either. I don't see why my heroine girl has to become a tree @_@;; This is the first time I've ever play a game that the main character I'm playing doesn't live a peaceful life ever after, but have to give up her life to become a tree. I think this game is not evenly weighed on the 2 main characters. If I play the hero boy instead, he actually had a longer background and had to fight one more battle and have a peaceful live after. The hero's version of the game is probably the standard one. I'm just not sure if he actually use magic. If he doesn't, I really am not sure how I'm going to beat a lot of bosses.

Playing the heroine, the game is fairly easy to beat. It was a bit of challenging at the beginning when the level is low and magic is not good, but quickly the girl became quite powerful. All the bosses in the 2nd half of the game are so easy to beat with magic. Seriously, it is harder to survive through the dungeons to get to the bosses than beating the bosses. I just cast magic at the bosses a few times and they die before I ran out of MP, and quite often I didn't even get a scratch. Using the rod to cast magic is like shooting missles. It doesn't matter where the boss is and whether he is flying, the magic will hit him. Meanwhile, the hero who tag along always died in the battle. I didn't even bother to revive him. It is just a waste of my items and he is completely useless in battles. I don't even know why I need him to tag along because I always had to make sure he wouldn't die traveling and he was really getting into the way @_@;; The most annoying thing about the game is, the tag-along NPC character doesn't follow you want you jump or get accross cliffs. That means while you get over certain place, you can't bring him along. While you are doing something at one side of the room, he is left behind at the other side getting beaten by the monsters. He doesn't follow you close enough, so he will just get stuck at the corner while you are doing something else at the other end. Only when you exit the screen to another screen, then he reappears next to you. So, to avoid getting him killed, I had to quickly run through the enemies and exit the room. The NPC is actually pretty strong himself, but you can't control 2 persons at the same time. So when you are taking care of your main character, the NPC won't take care of himself and is always at risk of being killed @_@;; Perhaps I should just let him die so he won't get in the way >.>

The final battle (2 battles, actually) wasn't that hard with magic. With one battle after the other and had no time to heal and rest, they certainly are the most challenging battles in the game. The special effects are cool, and the boss' last attack - hit me with an asteroid *sweatdrops* is certainly the most powerful attack. I was glad that my character didn't die after losing hundred and something HP (while the NPC hero was long dead before that)..... But magic attacks worked very well. I was a little surprised that it ended so soon, because the FAQ said there were supposed to be 3 boss-battles... There were only 2. I prbably have trained my characters very well. I leveled her up a bit (ended with level 63), and leveled up the magic too, but I didn't think I over-did that to make all the boss-battles easy. If anyone else has played this game, tell me what you think. It is just the game, or my heroine was uber strong? O.o;; I'm curious to know how hero beat the game if he has to use the Mana Sword instead of magic.....(which I doubt he can cast any magic besides Salamanda....and that is not going to work on most bosses.).... I don't think I'm going to play the game again with the hero, at least not for a long while. I have to at least wait till the FAQ walkthrough got polished by the author.

That means... I probably will buy myself another game to play! ^^

Meanwhile....I need to get some requests done and fit a layout...

- You've just read Rushita's heart - January 09, 2004 - 5:14 p.m. [ Comments ]

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