It was a nice day. I enjoy spending time doing different things in church, although it snowed again >.> Just when all the snow is about gone, we are getting more. I expect to have snow all the way till May >.>

Anyhow, it was a nice experience in church today. I didn't do anything, just doing my usual library task while listening to a group of teens in the library talking. That was a perfect example of how good it is when there is love among brothers and sisters. That was also a perfect example that teens christians are in fact very different from other teens. I've got used to seeing teens and kids on internet, seeing how they rant, complain, frustrate about their lives and how their lives suck and how they can't even stand simple things that doesn't go the way they want. Seeing all those immature, inconsiderate, and foolish action, I've started to lose hope in teenagers and kids and definitely lose hope on education and moral education in both school and at home. These teenagers at my church really impressed me. I saw them joking and playing and wondered if they would be mature enough and if they are a strong enough christian. Sometimes I wonder if they could handle serious stuff. Today I saw them giving very good sympathy and advices to one of the teens who was very troubled with his family problem, and that completely changed my mind. I can see God is really inside each of them and among them and they are mature enough to be considerate about how other people and their parents think. I just listened and didn't say a word, and thank goodness they actually didn't mind me being present there and they still so openly shared themselve. I probably belittled them before, but now I think I can trust them and can really treat them like the brothers and sisters in my fellowship, despite the fact that they are so much younger than us. They have really impressed me and I'm really glad that they are walking in the right path and they have a bright future in front of them. Our church will have a bright future because we have a young group of people who can take up the responsibilities of serving God and our church...the group who can work with us together to serve God and other people. My church was originally started off as one mainly made up of students, and people of my generation at one point was the youngest group and the most active group. With the change of immigration and visa-students condition, after all these years, we no longer have a student group. We all got older and entered the work force. Now we got the student group back, but it is now the English speaking (they speak Cantonese too, but English mainly...) teens, who are actually the 2nd generation of our church. At one point they were little kids and babies, but they now they have grown up and can share our ministry. This is very exciting indeed.

It is surprising that the teens are actually more diligent and active in participating in this 40-days Purpose Driven Life campaigne. They were actually quote things from the book and applying them in real life situations and actively seeking a way to improve fellowship. This is something we older people should learn from. I hope we have not gotten dull in our spiritual mind/heart.

Favourite quotes of the day:
Unity is the soul of fellowship.
God himself is the highest example of sacrificial love, humble other-centeredness, and perfect harmony.
Reconciliation, not running away, is the road to stronger character and deeper fellowship.
It's the Devil's job to blame, complain, and criticize members of God's family. Anythime we do the same, we're being duped into doing Satan's work for him.

Day 21 is about keeping unity in church:
- Focus on what we have in common, not our difference.
- Be realistic in your expectations.
- Choose to encourage rather than criticize.
- Refuse to listen to gossip.
- Practice God's method for conflict resolution.
- Support your pastor and leaders.

You know, it is interesting to spend time to do library stuff. I always got to hear different things while I work. Not just people sharing, I hear a lot of different bible study pre-study and meeting too ^^;; I'm glad people never mind me being there while they talk. I guess they need the room (libaray is a small room) and they couldn't really kick me out because I obviously need to work in there. I remember when I was in highschool, one time the teachers closed the library for a meeting but they didn't mind me staying and using the computer in one of the rooms too, not only because I worked in the libaray too, but also because I was quiet and mind my own business and I wouldn't bother them. ^^

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 07, 2004 - 8:57 p.m. [ Comments ]

Tonight I hanged around with my friends in Fellowship after work. Every time we went to a restaurant to see, it seems to cause a small fuss because there are so many of us and trying to accommodate all of us together into big tables isn't easy. I feel really content and happy n.n It is really a nice feeling. That is because my weekend just started and I don't have to work tomorrow. The idea of not having to work on Sunday makes me happy. I can enjoy going to church and doing things in library and enjoy the rest of day at home. Tthe best thing is I'm still off on Monday. I wasn't a happy camper last week because I had to work through the whole weekend all the way till Tuesday.

Favourite quote of the day:
God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.
Most conflict is rooted in unmet needs. Some of these needs can only be met by God.
No one can meet all your needs except God.
Before attempting to solve any disagreement you must first listen to people's feelings.
Begin with sympathy, not solutions.
In resolving conflict, how you say it is as important as what you say.

The reading for day 20 is about how to restore a relationship:
- Talk to God before talking to the person.
- Always take the initiative.
- Sympathize with their feelings.
- Confess your part of the conflict.
- Attack the problem, not the person.
- Cooperate as much as possible.
- Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution.

Honestly, the passage of the day doesn't make a significant impression in my mind, because I very rarely have broken relationship that I need to restore. I'm the type that rarely make any real conflict. Heated up discussions yes, but I usually know when to step on the brake before it turns into a conflict. Unless the other person not being mature enough and takes things personally that I don't know of..... I remember one time I had an interview for hospital pharmacist in a hospital. Hospital pharmacy are known to have more conflict and a lot of politics for some reason. Honestly, retail pharmacy works more like a team and we face our "enemies" together. That time I was asked a question about how I would resolve conflicts. At that time, I honestly answered that I've never had conflicts with people before. I know he didn't like my reply, but oh well, I was telling the truth. I thought if he asked me that question, the pharmacy department of that hospital must have a lot of politics and interpersonal problems e.e;; What I don't understand is, if you think a person who can resolve conflicts (i.e., restoring relationship after they are broken) is good, then wouldn't a person who know how to work around people and not start a conflict in the first place be even better? Anyway, I wasn't even sure if I actually like that hospital in the first place. Just more of interviewing for all kinds of position when you are freshly graduated. If I had a choice now, I would definitely not go to that hospital. As much as I hate retail and the stupid customer service, I think I'm ok with what I'm doing and going to the hospital might not be a better idea. Afterall, all jobs have their problems. There is simply no perfect job.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 06, 2004 - 10:51 p.m. [ Comments ]

I finally can hear from my ears because I can finally pop my ears by force. And my sinus is not as congested as before, although it still runs a little. People are surprised that I'm still sick. Well, I'm perfectly fine, except it is taking a while to stop the running nose. Again, I woke up at 1pm, but I actually felt like I wanted to sleep more. Warm and comfy bed makes me happy n.n. I was pondering in bed today in how to reply to a post on Moonwings. I've found a best way to reply and illustrate the problem without having to touch that opened can of worms. *:p to the guy who opened the can of worms...he doesn't read my blog but the message probably will still get accross :)* I just haven't got a chance to reply in MW yet.

Favourite quotes of the day:
Only the Holy Spirit can create real fellowship between believers, but he cultivates it with the choices and commitments we make.
Real fellowship, whether in a marriage, a friendship, or your church, depends on frankness. In fact, the tunnel of conflict is the passageway to intimacy in any relationship.
You can develop humility in very practical ways: by admitting your weaknesses, by being patient with others' weaknesses, by being open to correction, and by pointing the spotlight on others.
Courtesy is respecting our differences, being considerate of each other's feelings, and being patient with people who irritate us.
Relationship take time.

The summary of the last few days is the 9 characteristics of biblical fellowship. Even if you don't look at it as the fellowship between christians, you can still see it as the essential characteristics of any real relationship:
Authenticity - share true feelings
Mutuality - encourage each other
Sympathy - support each other
Mercy - forgive each other
Honesty - speak the truth in love
Humility - admit weaknesses
Courtesy - respect differences
Confidentiality - no gossip
Frequency - give it a piority and spend a lot of time

I personally find "sympathy" and "frequency" are my 2 weeknesses. I'm too task oriented and focus on getting things done and not pay enough attention to others' emotions. Technically I don't pay much attention to my own emotion too simply because it doesn't pay a very significant role in my own life. My logical mind can tell me emotion won't help make a different in getting things done and it can very well put a stop on the emotion and focus on what should be done. However, other people don't work this way. I doubt there are many that are like me anyway.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 06, 2004 - 12:05 a.m. [ Comments ]

Work was ok today. I spent the whole day trying to clear up my nose so I can breath. It was worst when I tried to eat. Because I was eating with my mouth and my nose was plugged up, I couldn't breath. I had to blow my nose 3 times so I could breath through 1 nostril and continue to eat. My left side of the sinus/ear+nose are congested on normal days anyway and I wake up at way everyday probably from my post-nasal drip. That's why I need to unclog my ear and clear up my nose and throat in order to sing in the morning.

Day 18 is about experiencing life together with a small group of christians in church. Favourite quotes of the day:
Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It is genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level, sharing.
It is only as we become open about our lives that we experience real fellowship.
Mutuality is the art of giving and reciving.
Mutuality is the heart of fellowship: building reciprocal relationships, sharing responsibilities, and helping each other.
Sympathy is not giving advice or offering quick, cosmetic help; sympathy is entering in sharing the pain of others.
The simplest levels of fellowship are the fellowship of sharing and the fellowship of studying God's word together. A deeper level is the fellowship of serving, as when we minister together on mission trips or mercy projects. The deepest, most intense level is the fellowship of suffering, where we enter in each other's pain and grief and carry each other's burdens.
Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice.
God's mercy to us is the motivation for showing mercy to others.

So that's what the cellgroups in church fellowships are about. I don't know since when we seem to have forgetten that those are the small group of brothers and sisters that we are supposed to get really close, share our lives and experience our lives together.

I also realize that where my problem is. I have no problem with "mercy", I just don't have much "sympathy". That has to do with how I was raised in the family. I probably have too high expectataion to people too.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 05, 2004 - 12:32 a.m. [ Comments ]

A dreamer. You are the Faerie of the Moonlight. A
calm spirit who feels alone. You sometimes find
yourself crying, but can not figure out the
reason. You have a fear of being used. People
have hurt you, and you do not know if you can
trust them. You lose yourself in writing or
reading, a very creative faerie. People want to
be your friend, but you don't know if you want
to be theirs. Sometimes you classify yourself
as an outcast, but you try to be content with
your tears. At least you'll always have your
fantasies..

What's your inner Faerie?
brought to you by Quizilla

Surprising result. Moonlight faerie? That reminds me of the "Fly Me to the Moon" story I wrote. I actually don't mind to be that Moon fairy.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 03, 2004 - 11:43 p.m. [ Comments ]

I finally got to sleep in today. When I woke up, my clock said 1pm but I felt it I still want to sleep for a few more hours. I haven't got a nice long sleep since last Friday. It wasn't a very productive day. I just pretty much hang around on the net and continue my game. I'm still very congested e.e I guess the most "productive" thing I did to day was gaining 1 level in RPG battle. There are actually more items to equip so I actually manage to be in a better condition in battles. In fact, I won both battles today.

Favourite quotes of the day
We are created for community, fashioned for fellowship, and formed for a family, and none of us can fulfill God's purposes by ourselves.
You were created for a specific role, but you will miss this second purpose of your life if you're not attached to a living, local church. You discover your role in life through your relationships with others.
Disconnected and cut off from the lifeblood of a local body, your spiritual life will wither and eventually cease to exist.
We are commeanded to love each other, pray for each other, encourage each other, admonish each other, greet each other, serve each other, teach each other, accept each other, submit to each other, be devoted to each other, and many other mutual tasks. This is biblical membership!
The Christian life is more than just commitment to Christ; it includes a commitment to other Christians.

As I was saying the other day, people can't say they believe in God but don't go to church. It is God's command that we have a close relationship with other believers. This is pretty much what today's passage is about. We can hardly stay firm in our faith when we are facing all the challenges ourselves. We need a church family because:
A church family identifies you as a genuine believer
A church family moves you out of self-centered isolation
A church family helps you develop spiritual muscle.
The Body of Christ (the church) needs you.
You will share in Christ's mission in the world.
A church family will help keep you from backsliding.

A lot of non-believers including those family members of christians always wonder why christians spend so much time for church. Group of christians is the family that God created for eternality. We get to know about God in church, and we get to polish our character through interacting with other christians and we get to use the gifts that God put in us to please God (i.e., glorify God) in different ways, and we get to take part in God's projects. When we do all these that are meant for us to do in our lives, God is pleased and that bring us joy too.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 03, 2004 - 10:39 p.m. [ Comments ]

Nothing particular for today, I'm still very congested.

Favourite quotes of the day:
Because God is love, the most important lesson he wants you to learn on earth is how to love.
Jesus said our love ofr each other -- not our doctrinal beliefs -- is our greatest witness to the world.
God wants you to be in regular, close fellowship with other believers so you can develop the skill of loveing.
Love should be your top priority, primary objective, and greatest ambition.
The point of life is learning to love -- God and people.
The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
Love means giving up -- yielding my preference, confort, goals, security, money, energy, or time for the benefit of someone else.
The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.

The reading for Day 16 is about relationship and love. This is also what I have been thinking....I need to work on relationship with people. Just as the passage says, the most important thing is to spend time. This is usually the problem. Too many to do, too little time, and too little time to spend on people. It is not like I don't want to chat with people on ICQ, in Moonwings.... or to spend time with friends IRL, but the reality is I never have time to do that. I actually wanted to get to know some of the young ones in Moonwings too, but when do I ever have time? e.e;; So many friends I have online I really should know them better. I often feel sorry I don't know them well even after knowing them for years. Some I don't even know how to approach to bring the relationship to a higher level. I guess that's why I'm the worker type. I use indirect ways to try get close to people and I use indirect ways to show people I do care for them, like doing things for them.....doing a lot of things for them and hope that will remind them I'm a loyal friend and hopefully add some brownie points and significants in their lives. I know I need to spend more time on the actual person instead. I'm trying to work on it. Really.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 02, 2004 - 11:54 p.m. [ Comments ]

Purpose #2 - You Were Formed For God's Family

Work wasn't too bad today. Boss took over fairly early today because I looked and sounded really sick. I actually feel a lot better than I was a few days ago, but I look and sound bad because of my running nose and cough. I was rotating between blowing my nose and coughing up phlem, and my whole head and chest sound congested. Other that that, I'm actually not bad. And I get my old blankie back. I have been using this blankie for over 20 years. It is warm and soft and fluffy. Last December when my parents came back from Hong Kong, they brought back the silk blanket and made me to use it. Pure silk blanket is supposed to be very warm despite the fact that it is very light weight and thin. But for whatever reason, I have been finding my new silk blanket not warm enough. Mind you, I also have another blanket on top of it, otherwise it would be too cold for winter. My bed would simply not get warm and even till morning, I still find my back feeling cold. I have been complaining to my parents all along but they don't believe me. So I actually wear a light jacket to bed to keep myself warm @_@;; Last night my mom finally switch me back to my old nylon blanket because I have been sick and anything to keep me warm at night would be a good thing. It was so much better. I only lay down in bed for 30 minutes and my hands were hot already (I have constant cold hands at home unless I'm really warm) and I wasn't even wearing the jacket (I have confidence that my old blanket would be enough...it has always been enough every winter). See? I knew my blankie >.> I didn't switch it earlier myself because it was all washed and tied up and put away because they were so eager to just put me on the silk blanket.

You know what? If you have been paying attention to my little "Grant Me the Power to Revolutionize the World!", I have been praying to God for different thing everyday regarding to my flu. I realize that I really should thank God about it. If He hasn't been helping me, it wouldn't be a different thing everyday *laughs*. Ok, I don't feel tired anymore, I don't have fever anymore, my sore throat is gone. It seems to be something new everyday, but certainly better than having sore thoat everyday for 5 days. Whatever it might come, I continue to pray God for it and wait for recovery.

Favourite quotes of the day:
Every human being was created by God, but not everyone is a child of God.
You are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.
Your spiritual family is even more important than your physical family because it will last forever.
First, we will get to be with God forever. Second, we will be completely changed to be like Christ. Third, we will be freed from all pain, death and suffering. Fourth, we will be rewarded and reassigned positions of service. Fifth, we will get to share in Christ's glory.
Your baptism declares your faith, shares Christ's burial and resurrection, symbolizes your death to your old life, and announces your new life in Christ. It is also a celebration of your inclusion in God's family.
Being included in God's family is the highest honor and the greatest privilege you will ever receive.

That's why people can't say they believe in God but never go to church. You can't just worship God on your own without having fellowship with other members of God's family. Wait...I think I'm jumping ahead.... we'll get to that part in the coming week. It is unavoidable that sometimes I have to remind myself why I don't agree or understand how people do certain thing or how they live their live. Sometimes it seems to be a very common thing for people but I just can't imagine. I simply do a lot of things different from most people. Not so much because I have a different cultural background, most of the time it is because I'm a child of God. I am meant to have different values and I am supposed to do things and live a life differently.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 01, 2004 - 9:55 p.m. [ Comments ]

This is stolen from both Goddess and Diana (who also stole from Goddess) since I read both. This one looks very familiar and I'm not sure if I've done this before. Don't all surveys ask for the same stuff anyway? e.e

������YOU PREFER������
� Pepsi or coke: Sprite
� McDonald�s or Burger King: I don't care. If I want my strawberry milkshake, of course it will be McDonanld's.
� Single or group dates: Single.
� Adidas or Nike: I don't wear sneakers either. My last pair was Nike but they don't fit (i.e., my feet grew longer). That figures how many years I haven't worn them, since you know how many years I've passed the growing stage.
� Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
� Cappuccino or coffee: No thank you, I'll pass. The only caffeinated thing I consume is chocolate.

������DO YOU������
� Smoke: No! Why do I have to waste money inhalating toxins to poison myself? @_@;;
� Cuss: Sometimes, when nobody is listening...
� Take a shower everyday: No.
� Have a crush(es): Not answering this question and the next one.
� Who are they: ditto
� Do you think you�ve been in love?: Yes.
� Want to go to college: Not anymore. I'm done university. Btw, ever wonder why I always use the word "university" when asked about college? Univeresity and college are not the same in Canada.
� Like high school: Good times and bad times, the last couple of years were pretty good.
� Want to get married: Someday.
� Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: Yes. I took real typing course.
� Believe in yourself: I'm sorry. This is a wrong concept to begin with. Human cannot have control over a lot of things and human are not reliable because we are powerless. We need to turn your eyes upon God, believe in God and rely on God, because God is the almight one and the one who knows what is the best for us.
� Get motion sickness: Yes, on rough plane rides.
� Think you�re attractive: In someway, yes.
� Get along with your parents: Yes, very much.
� Like thunderstorms: Hack, no X.x
� Play an instrument: More than one.

����IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU�����
� Drank alcohol: no.
� Smoke(d): No!
� Done a drug: In my profession, drug means medicine and I work with them. If you mean consuming illicit drug.... for heaven's sake, no!
� Have Sex: No and it is none of your business.
� Made Out: no.
� Gone to the mall: I work there X.x
� Eaten sushi: No.
� Been on stage: no.
� Gone skating: no.
� Made homemade cookies: No. I haven't done that for 13 years....and I don't like cooking in the first place.
� Dyed your hair: No.
� Stolen anything: only blog survey and quizes ^^;;

������HAVE YOU EVER������
� Flown on a plane: Of course yes.
� Missed school because it was raining?: Huh? Oh, I remember, when I was small in Hong Kong, there were a few times where we had so much rain that schools would close. Technically I wasn't "missing" school, the schools all closed. But that is a subtropical thing. We hardly have enough rain over here. All we have is snow!
� Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: Never directly.
� Cried during a Movie?: Not a movie. I cried for different TV shows, but not for a movie. The movies I watched weren't touching enough for me, I guess.
� Ever thought an animated character was hot?: Of course.
� Had an imaginary friend: no.
� Been on stage?: Yes, I used to perform Chinese dance.
� Cut your hair: Who hasn't? I trim my bangs all the time and I only go get a hair cut every 1 & 1/2 year.
� Had crush on a teacher?: Nope! >.>
� Played a game that required removal of clothing? Nope!
� Been called a tease: huh?
� Gotten beaten up: no.
� Been in a fight: only with my brother when we were small
� Shoplifted: no.

������THE FUTURE������
� Age you hope to be married: 30, which I've already passed. >.>
� Numbers and Names of Children: 1 or 2. Olivia, Emily or Diana for girl, and Jonathan for boy.
� Describe your Dream Wedding: A very simple service at my own church. That's it. I don't want banquet, I don't want anything!
� How do you want to die?: I don't want to die e.e;; Maybe just die peacefully in sleep.
� What do you want to be when you grow up?: I'm already a grown up! And...I did get to be what I wanted to be! There! Right now, I just want to not having to work XD.
� What country would you most like to visit?: Japan.

������OPPOSITE SEX������
� Best eye/hair color: Doesn't matter.
� Short or long hair: Short hair. I don't mind males having long hair, but not my significant other.
� Best height: 3-12 inches taller then me when I have my heels on.
� Best weight: BMI (body mass index) 20 and waist no bigger larger than 38.
� Best first date location: anywhere in the public.
� Best first kiss location: Somewhere nobody sees and in the right circumstance.

������NUMBER OF������
� Number of girl/boyfriends you�ve had: 1
� Number of kisses you�ve given: No idea.
� Number of drugs taken illegally: None!
� Number of people I could trust with my life: I swear I've done this question before. None... I don't trust people with my life, I only trust God.
� Number of CDs that I own: About 50
� Number of piercings: one on each earlobe
� Number of tattoos: None!
� Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: None....I remember this question.

��Favorites������-
� Shampoo: Salon Selective
� Fav Color: Silver, white, blue, pink, purple and all kinds of pastel colours.
� Day/Night: For what?
� Summer/Winter: Summer
� Lace or Satin: On what? Lace, I guess
� Fave Food: Anything spicy.
� Fave Movies: This question is too boring and I've tired of answering since I haven't seen anything exciting for a long time.....
� Fave sport: I don't like any sport.
� Fave sports stars: Not interested in any sport stars.

�����-RIGHT NOW������
� Wearing: Pink sweater and black dress pants.
� Drinking: Apple juice.
� Thinking about: How much longer this is going to be?
� Listening to: The noise my keyboard makes when I type... I remember answering the same question.....

�����IN THE LAST 24 HRS������
� Cried: No.
� Worn jeans: No.... haven't done that for more than 10 years.
� Met someone new online: No.
� Done laundry: No. I don't do laundry XD
� Drove a car: Yes, I went to work!
� Talked on the phone: Yes, I worked, I said! I only talk on the phone when I'm at work XD

�����DO YOU BELIEVE IN�����
� Yourself: I've already said you can't believe in yourself because human are so powerless.
� Your friends: What exactly does that mean?
� Santa Claus: no.
� Tooth Fairy: No
� Destiny/Fate: So called "destiny or fate" is the plan God has in your life. I believe in God.
� Angels: I believe angels exists, but I don't believe IN angles.
� Ghosts: Not what you think.
� UFO�s: Not what you think either
� God: Of course.

���FRIENDS AND LIFE������
� Do you ever wish you had another name?: I didn't like my English name because it was too too common so at one point I wanted to change it, but didn't. Of course I want to have another name: Rushita.
� Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: Yes
� Do you like anyone?: Who made this stupid question? >.>
� Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: none.
� Who have you known the longest of your friends?: Purple. I have known her probably since we were less than a month old.
� Are you close to any family member? My mother?
� Who do you hang around the most?: Nobody. I do everything on my own. I don't have time to so-call "hang around" in the first place @_@;;
� When have you cried the most: That gotta be the 4th year of my Pharmacy school.
� What�s the best feeling in the world?: I agree with Diana - contentment.
� Worst Feeling?: hopelessness
� What time is it now?: 5:40pm

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 01, 2004 - 4:44 p.m. [ Comments ]

previous - next