Funny I have nothing to blog tonight (now that I say it, may be I will end up barble something....). Weekend is always busy and lack of sleep for me. It is between work and doing nothing special and sleep and work again. So, nah. Nothing really to say. Customers didn't piss me off today *laughs*. I just become more and more aware that people don't listen to you when you tell them something. I always have to say everything twice before people will get what I'm saying. That is just because they never pay attention when I tell them things the first time. Their minds are too pre-occupied with their own thoughts and then they ask questions about things that I've just told them. And then more people come to ask you but they don't want the answer you give them.

I wonder where xq has been these days? I can't even remember how many times I catch him online the past few weeks. XD

Favourite quotes of the day:
Spiritual growth, like physical growth, takes time.
Christlikeness is your eventual destination, but your journey will last a lifetime.
There is no growth without change; there is no change without fear or loss; and there is no loss without pain.
There is only one way to develop the habits of Christlike character: You must practice them -- and that takes time!
Expect gradual improvement
Remember that God is never in a hurry, but he is always on time. He will use your entire lifetime to prepare you for your role in eternity.

When come to waiting and a long-term thing, I have very very good patience. Sometimes I even wonder if I have too much patience that I'm waiting for things that I shouldn't waste so much time on. So no, I'm in no rush for spiritual growth. Everyday is a new experience and I learn new things everyday. I'm not rushing it and the process doesn't bug me. I don't expect myself or anybody to be totally holy in one day. Everyday I try my best. I rely on God to try do my best. Everyday I talk to God and try to please God. I enjoy everyday of my journey of spiritual growth.

Me dead tired... sleep is good e.e

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 14, 2004 - 10:56 p.m. [ Comments ]

I continued a little shopping spree during "lunch" break (3pm already when I finaly manage to walk away the counter) at work today. Just went window shopping, didn't buy anything. I went to the same boutique (different location) I bought my coat yesterday, and the prom/evening dresses displayed at the window were so so beautiful. There was one in ivory colour that looked very much like a ballerina dress. I always love the ballerina style dress or shoes. I didn't notice it was that pretty yesterday when it was just hanging losely on a hanger. Because of the type of material and style, it is all creep together when you hang it on a hanger, but it was so so good if you actually wear it properly. When I was enjoying looking at the dress at the window, the display right next to it suddenly moved her head a little. OMG, it was a real person modeling the dress at the window, and there was another girl also standing still with a pretty gown among the other headless plastic models @_@;; I didn't screem or jump or anything, just that was really surprising. I really like that dress, but I have no occasing to wear it. And ivory fits me too. I like ivory/off-white/white dress and I have quite a few of them for summer. Not everyone looks good wearing white/ivory clothes, but I was told I look good on them due to my skin colour. Everyone has their colour when comes to clothings. Mom doesn't look good on black or white or yellow, 'cause they make her look so pale and sick and old. Red and bright colours fits her. I'm not a bright colour person myself.

In response to another blog I read about RL and OL. Rushita is the same in real life and online. I'm more shy in real life and don't easily hug people unlike online, partly due to culture. Other than that I'm my real self in any cases. I think my online life helps me to find out what I actually like and who I am. In fact, I'm probably more real online than in "real life", due to different roles I have to play IRL and different images I have to keep. 80% of people who know me in real life closely ties my job with me, so I need to keep a professional image in a lot of situation, and people don't get to see my other sides. In the same building, I can be in professional manner in October (professional conference) and be totally playful and a little crazy in May when it is time for anime convention. There are expectations from people and there are really images to keep, no matter it is about job or other things. When online I mostly can be more real because people know more sides of me. And, I don't lie or pretend on my blog.....except that one time I need to get Diana into our trap ^o^. I might not want to say everything, and there are things I do not want to mention in my blog, but whatever I do say is real. I do learn to say things target to possible reader of my blog, but that's just trying to get something across or get something done in a more indirect method which sometimes is more effective. It is not like if those people don't real my blog, those things don't bother me. They do bother me, I just selective on which one to rant on the blog. Honestly, you do want to be heard if you blog, otherwise there is no point for public diary/blog/journal. This is another reason why I don't follow that trend of putting that "readme" link on the blog. I don't really agree with some part of it. What I blog is real and you can in fact know me by reading my blog. I don't mind people talking to me about something I put on my blog because they care. I don't think there is a need to put such a big and strict disclaimer. I don't see how somebody would want to read my blog if it is for bad intention e.e;;

Favourite quotes of the day:
God has promised never to allow more on you than he puts within you to handle it.
Temptation begins by capturing your attention.
To reduce temptation, keep your mind occupied with God's Word and other good thoughts.
Authentic, honest fellowship is the antidote to your lonely struggle against those sins that won't budge.
The first step is to accept god's salvation. You won't be able to say no to the Devil unless you've said yes to Christ.
If you are a believer, Satan cannot force you to do anything. He can only suggest.
Second, you must use the Word of God as your weapon against Satan.
We must never let down our guard and think we're beyond temptation.

The 4 R's to defeat temptation:
- Refocus your attention on something else: things that are true, noble, right pure, lovely, and honorable.
- Reveal your struggle to a godly friend or support group.
- Resist the Devil: using the Word of God.
- Realize your vulnerability: keep our guard up and avoid tempting situations

Arguing with the temptation never wins, so don't bother to try e.e;;

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 13, 2004 - 11:05 p.m. [ Comments ]

Today I went on a little shopping spee. Mom said she wanted to go to Markville mall and dad tried to get me go too, because Mom always wanted me to go shopping with her but I had been too busy or lazy. I told them I wanted to go to Markville too. As a matter of fact, I have been wanting to go there since December but didn't because of the weather XD. The days are getting longer and the temperature is getting a little warmer lately so I am in a better mood of going out. I'm like a hibenating bear or something XD. I wanted to go there to look for GBA games. I found the "Havest Moon" game I bought yesterday was a few bugs cheaper at the Walmart in Markville e.e;; It is always cheaper in Walmart AFTER I bought the games somewhere else. They didn't have the game at the Walmart in the mall I worked. Actually there are more GBA games in the Walmart, game store, and Bestbuy in Markville. Even the clothing stores have more choices. That's why I shop more successfully at markville than the one I work eventhough they have essentially the same type of stores >.> I bought a suit with a one-piece skirt and a pretty coat (lack of English vocabulary to describe clothes and the type of clothes, as usual). It was the last one and I had to take it off the plastic model XD Don't know why that always happen when I see clothes displayed at the window that I like and they don't have more in the store. I don't understand why they are showing the sample at the window if they don't have more inside the store. I think they should show a different one at the window to attract people to buy the one that they have plenty in stock.

Day 26's reading is pretty good. It gave me some insight about temptation and how to see temptation. Knowing the trick satan uses in temptations and God uses everything including temprations to help His children grow really help. Favourite quotes of the day:
Every temptation is an opportunity to do good.
God develops the fruit of the Spirit in your life by allowing you to experience circumstances in which you're tempted to express the exact opposite quality!
God uses the opposite situation of each fruit to allow us a choice.
In one sense you can consider temptation a compliment.
Be realistic about the inevitability of temptation; you will never be able to avoid it completely.
It is not a sin to be tempted.
Temptation only becomes a sin when you give in to it.
You should identify your typical pattern of temptation and then prepare to avoid those situations as much as possible.
God wants you to ask him for assistance in overcoming temptation.
But God never gets irritated, bored, or impatient when we keep coming back to him.
Ask him for the power to do the right thing and then expect him to provide it.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 13, 2004 - 12:31 a.m. [ Comments ]

I bought a new GBA game today. It is the "Havest Moon" something mineral town (it is in my room...not going to climb 2 flight of stairs to find out the proper name @_@;;). It is quite disappointing that there aren't many Gameboy games around. When a new game comes out, you see the shelfs on every store are full of it, and then after a short while, you don't see it. It is like no store carries old game anymore. I saw "Havest Moon" everywhere a few months ago, but now I can only find one copy at one single store. It is like if you don't buy it right away, you won't be able to buy it later. There gotta be a lot of good old games before I bought my GBA SP, but where are they now? >.> I seriously am a big fan of Tetris and that was one of the reasons why I wanted to buy a Gameboy console years ago. I wonder if you can even find the game these days...

And...I finally bought myself ice-cream. I can't take it anymore. I have been craving for ice-cream for a few weeks. Dad has been talking about it, but he hasn't bought it yet. He is kinda waiting for it to go on sale, but it isn't going to be on sale till probably summer! e.e;; Sometimes I would go to the kitchen to find snack. I wanted ice-cream but we had no ice-cream, so I just ate something instead but it wasn't satisfying x.x. I just had supper, I'll eat my ice-cream tomorrow ^o^.

Favourite quotes of the day:
God has a purpose behind every problem.
God uses problems to draw you closer to himself.
We learn things about God in suffering that we can't learn any other way.
Problems force us to look to God and depend on him instead of ourselves.
You'll never know that God is all you need until God is all you've got.
Every problem is a character-building opportunity, and the more difficult it is, the greater the potential for building spiritual muscle and moral fiber.
It is vital that you stay focused on God's plan, not your pain or problem.
The secret of endurance is to remember that your pain is temporary but your reward will be eternal.
We can also rejoice in knowing that God is going through the pain with us.

"We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son." Romans 8:28-29

It is indeed very true that when we are in big trouble and are hopeless, we became closer to God. It is when we can't do anything outselves, we most rely on God. When we are happy and fine and in good condition, we always seem to be indulge in what we have and forget about God. That's probably why we need to practise talking to God and remind outselves of his presence all the time, no matter what we are doing.

The 3 "R"s to response too problems as Jesus world:
- Remember that God's plan is good
- Rejoice and give thanks
- Refuse to give up

Thanks for reading... it has been a long day and I need sleep e.e;; Goodnight.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 11, 2004 - 11:35 p.m. [ Comments ]

I learned about Xoops and Php-Nuke today. Pretty interesting stuff, but I think it would actually take much longer time to install, test, debug, add-on, customerize and use it than writing my own codes @_@;;. Besides, it is much more fun and flexible to write your own codes. I was looking at it for other purpose, definitely not for Rushita.com because it will not work. Rushita.com uses more personal designs and not those typical 3-column templates for business-type site. I want it exactly the way I want with personal touch on the codes. Also, browser compatibility is my major concern. I cannot guarantee the pages the script generate look right on all the browsers I test on. As the matter of fact, Xoops probably doesn't, because I can see problems on Xoops' site already. I think I like Php-Nuke better if I actually have to use it. This is also the reason it is hard if I have to make a website for somebody else because I can't have it my way. Not even my way of achiving the same goal. *Sigh* Rushita.com is my baby. I have to look into a new php site counter and probably a new tag board script sooner or later. My counter gets occasional hiccups and I had to reset it twice with an estimated count. My count isn't accurate anymore e.e;;.

Remind self: got to send out the registration for Anime North. I keep thinking that I'm all set because I have booked the hotel already. I'm really looking forward to Anime North. It will be like a "first vacation" for the year and "morning call" for me to wake up from my winter "hibenation" and start spending more time out of the house ^^;;

Favourite quotes of the day:
Spiritual growth is the process of replacing lies with truth.
The Bible is far more than a doctrinal guidebook. God's Word generates life, creates faith, produces change, frightens the Devil, causes miracles, heals hurts, builds character, transforms circumstances, imparts joy, overcomes adversity, defeats temptation, infuses hope, releases power, cleanses our minds, brings things into being, and guarantees our future forever!
God's Word is the spiritual nourishment your must have to fulfill your purpose.
what we need is a perfect standard that will never lead us in the wrong direction.
Without implementation, all our Bible studies are worthless.
Jesus also pointed out that God's blessing comes from obeying the truth, not just knowing it.

Transformed by truth:
- Receive God's Word: accept it with an open, receptive attitude.
- Daily Bible reading: keep you in range of God's voice.
- Researching or studying: asking questions of the test and writing down your insights.
- Remembering: If God's Word is important, you will take the time to remember it.
- Meditation: Focused thinking. It takes serious effort. Reflect on a verse over and over in your mind.

I seriously need to spend more time reading the Bible. XD

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 10, 2004 - 11:30 p.m. [ Comments ]

I finally got somebody to resend me the official pharmacy publication. I called the College yesterday and left the fifth message on a voice mail with an angry tone saying I was really frustrated that nobody ever reply to any of my messages that I left since December. She called me back within 1 hour. Sadly these day you can't be nice and polite and passive when you want to get things done. You gotta show them you are angry to get somebody to pay attention to you. 2 and 1/2 month waiting and 5 messages, I think I'm patience enough. It doesn't help when the reception send you to a different person's mailbox every time you call. That makes you really wonder who is really responsible for sending the publication. Anyhow, she said she would put it in mail "today" (which was yesterday), so I hope I'll get the November/December issue in a week. At the mean time, I've already received the January/February issue and it wouldn't be long for the March/April issue e.e;;

I wanted to continue my game, but for some odd reason I've been so busy lately. And I haven't even been doing my web stuff online or graphic stuff on the computer e.e It feels like I want to declare 2 weeks off away from the net again. It is an ironly that I said I wanted to spend more time with people but then I just don't have the time to. After work and food and reading and blogging, it is already late for bed XD. I need to quickly finish this blog before I fall asleep again XD.

Favourite quotes of the day:
Spiritual growth is not automatic. It takes an intentional commitment. You must want to grow, decide to grow, make an effort to grow, and persist in growing.
Spiritual growth is a collaborative effort between you and the Holy Spirit.
You repent whenever you change the way you think by adopting how God thinks -- about yourself, sin, God, other perople, life, your future, and everything else. You take on Christ's outlook and perspective.
Christianity is not a religion or philosophy, but a relationship and a lifestyle. The core of that lifestyle is thinking of others, as Jesus did, instead of ourselves.

Day 23 is pretty much a elaboration of the second part of day 22: commitment in becoming like christ, let go of old routines, develop new habits and change the way we think...from self-centered and self-seeking, to focus on others.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 09, 2004 - 11:59 p.m. [ Comments ]

Purpose # 3: You Were Created To Become Like Christ

Today was a long wait in doctor's office to see some body check report which wasn't anything serious. And then I went out with my pharmacy school friends. Interesting Korean supermarket we went to and I found Orangina there ^^. It is supposed to be something from US that a friend of my mom give us a box of small bottles a year or 2 ago. And then last time when I went to Seattle, I bought large bottle from the supermarket next door and kept it in the hotel's fridge (that was before I kept that bottle of very sweet grape juice...) to drink in the hotel. I haven't seen it sold anywhere over here until I found it in this Korean supermarket. Other than that, I didn't spend much time online today.

Favourite quotes of the day:
Like God, we are spiritual beings -- our spirits are immortal and will outlast our earthly bodies; we are intellectual -- we can think, reason, and solve problems; like God, we are relational -- we can give and receive real love; and we have a moral consciousness -- we can disccern right from wrong, which makes us accountable to God.
Christlikeness is all about transforming your character, not your personality.
You cannnot reproduce the character of Jesus on your own strength. New Year's resolution, willpower, and best intentions are not enough. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to make the changes God wants to make in our lives.
We choose to do the right thing in situations and then trust God's Spirit to give us his power, love, faith, and wisdom to do it.
First, we must choose to let go of old ways of acting.
Second, we must change the way we think.
Third, we must "put on" the character of Christ by developing new, godly habits. Your character is essentially the sum of your habits; it is how you habitually act.
God's Word provides the truth we need to grow, God's people provide the support we need to grow, and circumstances provide the environment we need to practice Christlikeness.

To learn to become like Christ is a life-long practise and lesson for Christians. We don't suddenly become perfect the moment we believe in Christ. A lot of non-believers fall for this kind of myth and point fingers at christians because we aren't perfect. While the rest of the world has so much to blame for, somehow christians are expected to be perfect despite the fact that we are human too. It doesn't sound very logical to me. We try to do our best while we are on earth, but we aren't going to be perfect until Jesus Christ returns and transform us to a different form in heaven.

- You've just read Rushita's heart - March 09, 2004 - 1:29 a.m. [ Comments ]

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